Lou, 69

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My Life in a Nutshell

• I care about my family
• I wish people would ask the right questions
• I look back fondly on my teen years, walking with friends from Forest Hill Village to get french fries at Silver Rail downtown and then walking home: “It was a very carefree existence”
• I’ve been married 45 years and have two sons; “you fall into and you fall out of love all the time, that is a true marriage”
• I’m proud of being able to help people and make a difference in their lives, even if it isn’t “world-shattering”
• I always believed you stay out of trouble instead of getting out of trouble (it has helped prevent regrets)
• I think because I’m such a chatterbox, people have no idea how much I keep a secret
• I’m a gregarious recluse
• I don’t believe in “no pain, no gain”; if there’s pain, something’s wrong
• In the future I want to travel and have more grandchildren

Lou’s Story

When I first see Lou she is sharing a table with two other women, a half-smile on her face.  I hesitate before approaching the trio, but the 69-year-old emanates a soft warmth, and I find myself asking her to share her story.  Lou cheerfully responds in the affirmative; it turns out her table companions are as unknown to her as I am.

It soon becomes apparent why she has decided to take the time to speak with a complete stranger.

“I am, actually, a little bored, because now I’m retired.  My husband won’t retire until next February,” she says with a chuckle.

Laughter comes quick and often to Lou; it is part of her charm, as is her straight-forward way of speaking.

“Do you know what it’s like to watch people take an hour to get to the point when you could just blurt it out?  You don’t have to accept my opinions, but at least you know what they are.”

This may explain, in part, Lou’s success as a (former) freelance marketer. 

“If you were on my project team there was always clarity.  That’s why I got so much done and I won so many awards.”

She smiles as she describes one of her longest stretches of employment.  Lou says she was originally hired to complete one contract for Nestle Canada but ended up working one project after another for 18 years.

“I worked in about every area for the company except for ice cream and water.  I had a lot of fun.”

If her long stretch at Nestle’s came as something of a surprise, it is no more surprising than the fact Lou ended up in marketing at all.  She has a degree in psychology from York University.

“But I knew I was too empathetic.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to help people.  So I went out into the world.”

Nonetheless, Lou admits she did try to help others as best she could over the years.  While she did not accomplish anything “world shattering”, she says she served as a mentor to countless youngsters.

“On a daily basis, you can help people as individuals and make a difference in their life.” 

Lou’s life began in Southern Italy.  She had three siblings. She describes a pleasant childhood, marred by one small regret, which illuminates her kind-hearted, gentle nature.  

“I once dropped dirt in my sister’s eye.  I’m still, to this day, ashamed of thinking that I did that.  The poor little thing may have been four.”  

When she herself was four, the family moved to Canada, to a home her father purchased in Forest Hill.

“He didn’t want to live near the Italian community because he said they gossiped too much,” she says with a grin.  

In fact, she recounts many stories of her parents with warmth and humour. 

“They were always on the same page.  They quite adored each other.” 

Lou, meanwhile, has been married to her university sweetheart since she was 24. 

“It is all about determination, picking the right person, who has a similar moral view.  And both of you believing you want to stay together.”

She says, however, marriage takes work.

“You fall in and out of love all the time.  That is a true marriage.  You fall out of love and then you fall in love again.”

Lou waited five years after marriage to have children, despite her mother’s impatience to become a grandmother.

“She asked me, about three years in, why I was not pregnant yet.  She said, ‘Why don’t you try it, you might like it?’” Lou recalls fondly.

Lou eventually had two sons, who are nine years apart.

“They aren’t doctors or lawyers, but they went to university.  One has an MBA, the other has a degree in science.  I’m a big believer in doing what makes you happy, because if you do what makes you happy, you will do well.”

Ironically, even though she originally told me she was retired, it is at this point I learn that she still works, at least part-time.  Six years ago, Lou launched a wine tour company of the Niagara Region with her sons.  

“It’s been pretty good,” she says, while we scroll through a website that is both artful and elaborate.  

Still, there is a hint of fatigue in her voice, when she admits, “It’s a lot of work.”

“All summer (he) never gets to see his family,” she says of her eldest.

In the off season, however, life is much less busy, with tours relegated to weekends.

“I’ve started taking watercolour, but I’m a control freak so I’m frustrated,” she says with a laugh.  “But I really like it.  I’m happy, but a little bored.”

She says she is now waiting on her husband’s imminent retirement, so they can do some travelling.  

In the next few years, she also hopes for more grandchildren.

“And I want to see my grandson married.”

It is an ambitious goal for a woman approaching 70.  Lou’s grandson is currently eight years old.  But the woman who was once called the “Sargeant Major” at work says she won’t let life “just go by.”

“I’m very determined.”